Tywin Lannister

At the age of 2, Tywin discovered how to craft golems out of clay. On the eve of Hamburgerween, he unleashed a clay golem army onto the capital of Cable Modem, claiming the city by the next morning. He quickly established trade routes to all nearby free trade cities, and began buying up all the bone across the continent.

At the age of 3, Tywin had 24,000 clay golems and 145,000 skeleton warriors at his disposal, which he used mostly for labor as the borders of Cable Modem quickly expanded.

By age 6, Tywin grew bored of nation building, and began focusing instead of his poetry, leaving the management of Cable Modem to a blood golem he created that same year.